


dreams do come true

by mother_hearted



Category: Silent Hill (Video Game Series)
Genre: Established Relationship, Insecurity, M/M, Negotiations, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-20
Updated: 2015-06-20
Packaged: 2018-04-05 07:24:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4171077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mother_hearted/pseuds/mother_hearted
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex Shepherd would give up on life if he weren't so stubborn. </p>
<p>In this fic: sex can be terrifying but talking helps, I promise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	dreams do come true

**Author's Note:**

> IT HAS BEEN A HOT MINUTE. 
> 
> My SH nerd squad for life. 
> 
> Fond memories and feelings about Alex Shepherd: How Do I Do This Oh God Please Don't Leave Me and of course Alex Shepherd: A Menace Is Upon Us You Only Have Yourself To Blame Henry Townshend. 
> 
> (i never come up with titles until i post here eh)

There is no good conversation starter for, "I've been thinking about putting your cock in my mouth and my confidence issues are preventing this dream from becoming a reality," but my god, does Alex wish there was.

Alex Shepherd has been awkwardly tumbling through this relationship since his loose cannon confession. While there's the reprieve of late night movies, couch snuggling, and coexisting quietly, Henry sketching and Alex reading, it's been zero to sixty ever since they started having sex. Alex has apologized more in these few short weeks than he has in his entire life combined. He _wants_ to have sex with Henry, he _daydreams_ about having sex with Henry, but when he is actually _having_ sex with Henry he has no blessed clue what he is doing. 

They've only used hands and mouths, or just hands, in Alex's case. It's good, the touching, the kissing, the _closeness_ , and Alex has come harder than he ever has in his life. That particular bar is distressingly low and he doesn't want to talk about it. 

Alex gets Henry off, he's licked Henry's fucking come off his chest. 

The problem is the last time he went to lick a strip up Henry's dick he froze and ended up staring at his boyfriend's erection until said boyfriend asked if something didn't look right and should he be concerned.

No, he answered. And then promptly shoved his flaming face against Henry's inner thigh before fisting his cock. 

Blowjobs are not rocket science. Alex blames the confidence issues. And maybe his boyfriend, just a little. There are a lot of things Alex understands but Henry is not one of them. How do you go from being celibate for at least five years, to nearly sucking someone's brains out. Henry is uncomfortable when he doesn't have exact change at the corner store but he braced Alex's hips down and deep throated him without a problem. 

Alex Shepherd would give up on life if he weren't so stubborn. 

It mostly leads him to watching a lot of porn in which he gets hard, sometimes disgusted, really confused, or mostly distracted. An oral sex how-to ends up sitting in his inbox after his drunken insecure confession at Eileen's and it's about as helpful. He invests more time in e-mailing her back _to never let Henry know this happened_. His issue, even if he got by in school when he wasn't crazy about the subject, is that Alex has always been a hands on kind of guy.

Visuals or instructions never live up to the experience of _doing the activity_ and that's why he stuck. He's stuck wallowing in his insecurity and thinking that Henry will finally give up and tell him _at least he's good company_. And he'll find new food to try because at least _something_ will satisfy him and after a whole weekend of this shit Alex gets on his own nerves enough that he doesn't even say hello to Henry the next time he sees him, he's all tight jawed and forced out words.

"I know we both have a. Mutual problem in asking for things." He grimaces, because while Henry will always do his best to help him, Alex seeking out help is like a foreign third limb. It's not what he's used to. "But, I want to do more for you."

Henry predictably tries to be reassuring. 

"You do plenty for me."

"I'm not talking about errands. It's a -"

How does he say this. Fuck it, he's just gonna put it out there. Hell, he landed Henry that way. 

"It's a sex thing." And before he can wuss out, he lets himself throw out the words no matter how aggravated or desperate he sounds. "I want to suck you off but I keep being weird about it." For all he's trying not to, he can feel the blush on his cheeks, all too warm. Henry looks at him for a long moment, processing and planning what to say. Alex half expects him to say it's okay, it's not something he has to do. 

Instead he asks, "Are you nervous?"

"No." Pause. "Maybe." His expression sours at his admission. 

"Pressured?" 

"This is getting into infomercial territory."

"No, I didn't mean..." Henry's not one for smiling, it's the softening of his features, when his face relaxes. A feeling of being at ease. "You're always so spontaneous, you have your own way of doing things."

Alex can't help but grin, "You mean I'm used to being in deep shit."

"Among other things," Henry teases gently. Alex bumps their shoulders together. "I'll enjoy whatever you want to try? If you need to be more...?"

"Comfortable, I guess?"

Henry thinks for a moment, then can't quite meet Alex's eyes.

"You could always surprise me."

Huh.

"Are you giving me permission to attack you?"

"That's rather violent."

"Nah, I was thinking swift and merciless." He follows through with a kiss to Henry's lips, enjoys that Henry isn't telling him what to do, asking instead. His heart beats a little faster. Henry kisses back, a soft sound of agreement. 

"Yes."

"Anywhere in the apartment?"

Henry blinks, nods.

"Day, night?"

"Anytime," Henry pauses again. "Anytime I'm not working or holding something sharp."

"Okay." Permission granted, Alex slings an arm around Henry's shoulder. He likes those options. He already has an idea, actually. He'll go through with it if the feeling is right. 

"Can I wake you up?"

Henry leans into him, "Like that?"

"I don't want to scare you."

"...kiss me somewhere else first?"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Alex Shepherd's confidence issues can go fuck themselves because he is so looking forward to this.


End file.
